April 1, 2012
This Newspaper Is Dead. Start Your Own Stupid Blog.

P.S. Swat Sucks.

11:59pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZB5goxIxymNU
April 1, 2012
News Alert: 90% Of Bico-Budget Readers Only Laugh When They Or Their Friends Aren’t Being Made Fun Of

11:00pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZB5goxIxn88b
April 1, 2012
News Alert: Student Demanding Greater Campus Diversity Still Scared To Ride The R100

10:30pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZB5goxIxgGkJ
(Notes: 5)
  
April 1, 2012
News Alert: Student Bragging About Being Off The Meal Plan Just Devoured Another Bowl Of Ramen

10:16pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZB5goxIxcy82
(Notes: 1)
  
April 1, 2012
News Alert: Lavender-Skinned Tour Group Causes Admissions Office To Scrabble For Lavender-Skinned Tour Guide

10:00pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZB5goxIxZ62z
April 1, 2012
News Alert: Student In Charge Of Their Club’s Off Campus Checking Account Complaining About People Not Following The Honor Code

9:45pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZB5goxIxVFRO
April 1, 2012
News Alert: Gabriel Stark Announces Plans To Retire After His 1,300th Mixtape “Starky’s Ark: Two Of Every Hoe”

9:30pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZB5goxIxRVrq
April 1, 2012
News Alert: Student Complaining About The Burden Of Using Both Moodle And Blackboard Is Currently Printing A Reading On Infant Mortality Rates In Developing Nations

9:16pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZB5goxIxN_ws
(Notes: 2)
  
April 1, 2012
News Alert: Students Awarded Grant To Spend Entire Summer Posing In Photos With Ethnic Kids

“Excuse me but the term ‘ethnic’ is offensive. They. Are. So. EXOTIC!!!!!”

9:00pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZB5goxIxKLt8
(Notes: 3)
  
April 1, 2012
News Alert: Plenary Attended By Diverse Mix Of White People

8:45pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZB5goxIxGdjv
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