April 1, 2012
This Newspaper Is Dead. Start Your Own Stupid Blog.

P.S. Swat Sucks.

April 1, 2012
News Alert: 90% Of Bico-Budget Readers Only Laugh When They Or Their Friends Aren’t Being Made Fun Of

April 1, 2012
News Alert: Student Demanding Greater Campus Diversity Still Scared To Ride The R100

April 1, 2012
News Alert: Student Bragging About Being Off The Meal Plan Just Devoured Another Bowl Of Ramen

April 1, 2012
News Alert: Lavender-Skinned Tour Group Causes Admissions Office To Scrabble For Lavender-Skinned Tour Guide

April 1, 2012
News Alert: Student In Charge Of Their Club’s Off Campus Checking Account Complaining About People Not Following The Honor Code

April 1, 2012
News Alert: Gabriel Stark Announces Plans To Retire After His 1,300th Mixtape “Starky’s Ark: Two Of Every Hoe”

April 1, 2012
News Alert: Student Complaining About The Burden Of Using Both Moodle And Blackboard Is Currently Printing A Reading On Infant Mortality Rates In Developing Nations

April 1, 2012
News Alert: Students Awarded Grant To Spend Entire Summer Posing In Photos With Ethnic Kids

"Excuse me but the term ‘ethnic’ is offensive. They. Are. So. EXOTIC!!!!!"

April 1, 2012
News Alert: Plenary Attended By Diverse Mix Of White People

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